Goodbye to an old warrior
by Lanche
Summary: The time has come and Kellen must say goodbye to an old warrior, friend and partner.


_A/N: All characters belong to Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory. I only borrow them for a short while and return them unharmed._

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Goodbye to an old warrior

The air was fresh and still. No breeze stirred the leaves that had reached full-length, but still displayed the pale green of spring, not the rich green of summer. A fog permeated the valley. It was not thick – Kellen could see several yards in front of him as he walked – but it coated every tree with dazzling crystal drops and left a clear path of his footsteps. As he weaved through the trees, through small clearings, his trail became even more pronounced.

Quietly, reluctant to break the silence of the morning with even a deep breath, he walked slowly. If any squirrels or birds were out in the early morning light, they did not respond to his presence. His hands were buried deep in the pockets of his tunic. His head was raised, watching the scenery around him. It was amazing how a simple fog could make the most prosaic items – a pine tree, the House of Sword and Shield – sparkle and take on a different life.

Eventually, after skirting the stables and riding ring, Kellen reached his destination. He could see horses dotting the field below him as he stood on a slight rise. From this distance, in the early morning light diffused by the fog, the colors looked the same, except for a few of the lightest. But Firareth was out there. That he knew. He had to deliver his news to the stallion; he just wished he knew how.

Kellen lowered himself to a rock situated at the top of the small rise. It was wet and he grimaced for a moment as his leggings took on the water. Through habit and training, he ignored the small discomfort. They would dry when he began moving again. The sun's beams streamed into the sky, weakened by the fog, and the sun would cross the horizon shortly. Once it did, the fog would dissipate quickly.

After reaching down and plucking a strand of grass, Kellen idly began to shred it as he thought back over the last eight years since the end of the war and his recent decision. It was not an easy one, but it had to be done. That he knew. He lost track of the time as the sun rose and the fog lightened. If he had been paying attention, he would have noticed that the colors of the horses closest to him were discernible. However, he did not.

It was the light footsteps, very close, that finally brought his awareness back to the present. He scrambled to his feet, hand automatically dropping to the small knife on his belt, before he felt his mouth drop open. He struggled to gather his scattered wits as the elf standing in front of him did her best to hide her smile. After what felt like a very long moment, Kellen bowed. "I See you, Lady Ashaniel. Good morning"

"I See you, Kellen and good morning." Her light tone was laced with amusement. "It appears I may have caught the Knight-Mage off-guard." Her black eyes sparkled.

Kellen felt his face flush slightly. The queen stood before him in a dress of differing shades of pale blue, the colors of a clear summer morning sky at sunrise. It was one of the simplest dresses he had seen her wear, but still was decorated with beading and silver thread. The jewels in her hairpiece glittered like the drops of water on a tree when the sun struck them. As it had been since the first time Kellen met her, he felt the awe of her beauty. However, he was no longer an inexperienced, oath-bound teen; he was a married man and quickly smiled in return.

"Master Belesharon would enjoy hearing how you managed it. And, of course, would then try to duplicate the event to reprimand me. He claims that my training is not as entertaining as it once was."

"I have trouble believing that, Kellen. Plus, now that I have caught you somewhat unaware, you will be much more alert of your surroundings again, therefore it will do Belesharon no good to try to surprise you. Much to his disappointment."

"It would please me to know, Ashaniel, if you were expecting no one else at the meadow this morning."

The queen smiled. "If one wanted to, one could remark that you do your instructors and your own abilities much justice in your way of speaking. I must confess to remembering our first conversation when you claimed to be 'not bright' and requested plain speaking. Now, you often are as indirect as any elf."

Self-conscious, Kellen laughed and rubbed an eyebrow with his hand. "If I have not learned after eight years, I probably would not. If I had not, I'm sure I would be more comfortable elsewhere."

The smile dropped quickly off Ashaniel's face. "Kellen, please do not tell me that you are not comfortable in Sentarshadeen. This is your home. You are welcomed and wanted by all. We would not want you to even consider leaving us." Her tone was serious and she looked worried. Before he could formulate a coherent reply, she continued. "However, if you are unhappy in Sentarshadeen, Andorienel and I will do what we can to remedy the situation. Even if that means losing you and Vestakia."

Kellen stared at her in shock. "Oh, no, Lady Ashaniel. I, we, that is Vestakia and I are both very happy in Sentarshadeen." He paused, considering his words and then proceeded carefully. "After the Winter War, we both could have lived elsewhere, myself especially. Cilarnen encouraged me to move back to Armethialeth – quite strenuously encouraged." Kellen allowed himself a small smile at the memories. "In fact, he would still like me to. But Armethialeth is not home to me. I considered many places. I visited many while searching out any remnants of _Them_, but I continued to always come back to Sentarshadeen. I fully consider this my home as does Vestakia. Neither of us wants to live anywhere else." He paused again wondering if he should continue; looking at Ashaniel he decided a full disclosure would be correct.

"This past winter, we discussed it again. Since our circumstances were changing so drastically, we had to consider what was best for us," he paused slightly, "and our baby. We both agreed that we wanted to continue living here."

Ashaniel nodded slowly, accepting the truth of his words. "It may be difficult raising a human child amongst the Elves," she stated. "But at least there are more Elven children now than at any time in our past."

"Yes, our baby will have numerous friends of similar age to play with here."

"Unlike those who are Sandalon's age and older."

Kellen nodded in agreement.

"But, Knight-Mage, to retrace the beginnings of our conversation, I have not answered your inquiry if you were disturbing my solitude this morning. You are not."

"I am pleased to hear that. I, also, am stirred to wonder what brings you to the meadow so early this morning, if I may be so direct."

The queen slowly smiled and then turned to stare out over the meadow, looking at the horses grazing. Without looking at Kellen, she replied. "You are not the only one saying goodbye to a friend."

Kellen's face showed his surprise. He did not realize the queen's palfrey was of an age to return to the fields of Vardirvoshan. Of course, even Firareth did not show his age in obvious ways, but the small signs were there.

"I am sorry to hear you must also say goodbye. It is not easy to do."

"It never is."

Once again, Kellen was reminded of the long lives that elves lived. Even if elven-bred horses lived longer than other ones, an elf could expect to go through many in his or her lifetime.

"It would be interesting to know why you are not accompanying Grayn to Windalorianan."

Ashaniel turned to face Kellen, her beauty not at all dimmed by the sadness there. "I have go with my palfreys in the past. Most recently when Grayn's grandfather returned to the fields of Vardirvoshan. But, I learned that it is harder to say goodbye there."

"For you or for the horse?" Kellen gulped. He hadn't slipped out with a question in years. But Ashaniel did not give notice of the slip and answered in the same vein she had used previously.

"For both. The time together riding is enjoyable, but yet every stride I keep thinking 'one less to go.' Additionally, your mount knows something is wrong. Finally, it is very likely that she will see you with the new horse and that hurts her. It is better to say goodbye here." She paused. "Plus, I do not want to leave Idalia and Sandalon for the length of time required to travel to Windalorianan. Sandalon is old enough to travel with me, but Idalia is not yet. In a few more years, we can begin to visit the other cities."

Kellen nodded and smiled as he thought of his sister who was no longer his sister. The violet-eyed child – even more headstrong than most elven children – was his sister in personality but no longer in blood. Interestingly, she said or did things that reminded others of the human Idalia, but she claimed to have no conscious memories of that time. But yet, she never asked why she looked slightly different and had a pendant birthmark. She had always known.

"Idalia would enjoy visiting the other cities. But I do not envy you and her nurse trying to keep watch on her as she would want to explore everything."

Ashaniel laughed softly. "Very true. One more reason to wait at least two more years. Andorienel and I have discussed travelling and we think to plan it to coincide with Jermayan's next scouting trip. It hopefully will keep her from being so sad while he is gone."

Kellen nodded again. When Jermayan and Ancaladar had left two summers ago to look for female dragons, Idalia had moped for the five seasons he had been gone. The joy everyone else felt when Cortiana arrived was paled by Idalia's joy at his return. Cortiana had not bonded, but there were many elves and Wildmages she had yet to meet. The introductions were progressing at her chosen past, which was even less hasty than an elf's.

"You are not traveling to Windalorianan with Firareth."

Even though it was not a question, Kellen replied. "No. The baby may arrive before I would return and I do not want to miss his, or her, arrival." He sighed. "But I am not ready to say goodbye. Last fall, when I realized Firareth was slowing down, I planned to go. Now I can't and I don't know how to tell him."

The queen listened intently saying nothing until well after Kellen had trailed off and shrugged. Then, softly, "I wonder if you could wait a year. You could travel next spring."

Kellen shook his head. "As you said earlier, it is hard for a destrier to see you with another and I need to get comfortable with my new mount. He'll be coming back from the trip. Plus, Firareth is slower. While he would do whatever I ask of him, it would not be wise to push him."

Ashaniel looked out over the field before replying. "I cannot tell you how to tell him, Kellen. I can only say I understand your pain." She smiled. Kellen returned it and then she headed out into the field.

The knight-mage watched as the queen was met by a delicate bay mare and together they walked away. With a sigh, he headed down the slight hill himself. The sun had completely burned off the fog and the day was beautiful. He strode into the meadow, patting a few horses that showed interest in his passage. Finally, past the middle of the field, Firareth raised his head from the grass. With a snort, the buckskin stallion moved forward and nudged Kellen lightly in the chest. Automatically his hands came up and scratched the stallion under forelock. For several minutes, the two stood silently, enjoy the warm spring morning.

Finally Kellen dropped his hands and stepped back. "Firareth, the time has come for you to head back to the Fields of Vardirvoshan." He paused and the stallion stood silently except for the switching of his tail. "I told you this last fall, and now the time has come. You leave tomorrow and I." He stopped and drew a deep breath and forced the words out. "I don't." The stallion snorted and stomped a hoof. "I'm sorry Firareth, but I cannot leave Vestakia with the baby on the way. I…" he trailed off, unsure of what else to say. Firareth raised his head and watched Kellen. The look in Firareth's eyes was not happy.

Kellen reached out a hand and placed it on the stallion's neck. The stallion didn't move toward him – or away. Kellen rubbed an eyebrow with his free hand and spoke again. "I'm sorry. I want to go with you but I can't." He forced a smile. "Think of the fun you will have with all the other horses when you get there with nothing else to do. And there have been several requests for you to stand at stud." The stallion whickered. Kellen grinned. "Don't enjoy yourself too much, old boy." Then, he finished in a serious tone, "Do you understand? Can you forgive me?"

The stallion raised his head and snorted again. Then he shook his head before dropping it and nudging Kellen, hard, in the chest. Kellen felt some of his stress ebb away and scratched the stallion's neck vigorously. It was the same reaction he had gotten when they first met and chose each other as partners. An honest smile split his face.

"Thank you for understanding, Firareth. I will miss you. You've been an amazing partner and friend for the past several years. We've been a lot of places together and done a lot of good. Enjoy yourself in Vardirvoshan. You deserve it." Kellen hugged the stallion's neck, burying his head in the mane, for several minutes before releasing him.

Kellen stepped back to leave and the stallion nickered. He felt the stallion's eyes on him as he walked through the field. At the top of the small rise, he turned back. Firareth stood with his head raised. Kellen waved and whispered, "Goodbye, old friend." He then turned around and headed towards home.

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A/N: Reviews are appreciated!


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